So imagine a bubble. Once you go inside the bubble it’s quite difficult to get out of it, and once you are outside the bubble you can’t wait to get back inside it. This bubble isn’t a very nice place. This bubble takes things away from you. This bubble clouds you with uncertainty. This bubble is low energy and negative. However this bubble is safety. This bubble is protection. But before you imagine yourself inside this bubble, lets talk about how you are outside of it.
You are full of energy, you are confident, you are independent, you are lucid. Your steps have rhythm, your knees bend and your shoulders bop as you take every step. Your chin is up, your chest is out, your eyes glare forward and you’re showing the world who the fuck you are, and that you are not to be messed with. Every moving stimuli catches your sharp stare and feels the intensity of your dominant psyche. You do not care. You pay no attention to the thoughts of other humans as they walk by you whilst you mime the words to your favourite song. You care not for the judgements of anonymous people through their glare covered car windows as you bop and step in the most eccentric fashion to combine your movements with the beat coming through your headphones. You are brave, you are fearless, and you welcome life’s challenges- not just welcome but encourage them. You are ready to make the world your bitch. You do not care. You streak through your thoughts and make appropriate facial expressions to match without worrying about the fear of looking crazy to other people. You do not care. You are happy. You are funky. You are life. You are soul. You are you.
Now you step into the bubble.
Your energy fizzles out of you like a deflating balloon, you close up, you become vulnerable, you are melancholic. You now shuffle your feet with stiff legs, your shoulders hunch and you move very delicately. Your chin goes down, your chest goes in, and your eyes dart to the floor or the direction with the least human engrossment. You don’t even know who you are anymore. You can’t bare to look into the pupils of another being, the thought alone makes your spine shiver. You suddenly become aware of the minutiae of your body. You limit every sound you make, every breath you take, and every emotion you create. You care about everything. You withhold into your own mind and circuit the same 3 emotions all with the same expressionless trite face and pass it off as being “tired”, when really you are passing dull time until you next eat or sleep so you can forget about this bubble and how it makes you, become someone else. You care too much. You aren’t happy. You are rigid. You are lifeless. You are distant. You are lonely.
Now imagine if that bubble was your own home.